WHO Poll
Q: 2023/24 Hopes & aspirations for this season
a. As Champions of Europe there's no reason we shouldn't be pushing for a top 7 spot & a run in the Cups
24%
  
b. Last season was a trophy winning one and there's only one way to go after that, I expect a dull mid table bore fest of a season
17%
  
c. Buy some f***ing players or we're in a battle to stay up & that's as good as it gets
18%
  
d. Moyes out
37%
  
e. New season you say, woohoo time to get the new kit and wear it it to the pub for all the big games, the wags down there call me Mr West Ham
3%
  



Stranded 4:10 Thu Oct 6
Thursday afternoon competition
Things you can fit in the gap.

I read on here somewhere that from the seats to the pitch was 20 metres at the halfway line. So let’s go with that, for the sake of argument.

If a passing mod could do the honours?

To get things rolling. 1) A London bus: Maximum permissible length 15m. 2) A Learjet: Nose to tail 17.881m, with a wingspan of a mere 13.34m. Meaning you could even park it on the piss, if you wanted to show off not only how rich you are, but also how little of a fuck you give for convention.

Fun fact: The largest species of Brontosaurus, the B. excelsus, could weigh up to 15 tonnes and reach a length of up to 22m. Meaning that should one wish to watch us play at the LS, so long as it remembered to tuck its tail in, it wouldn’t interfere with play.

How Slav’s technical area might look if a dinosaur came to watch

Replies - Newest Posts First (Show In Chronological Order)

mallard 6:12 Sat Oct 8
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
Is it an optical illusion, or is the opposite end to the technical area smaller?

That's a fuck-up in in its own right if true

Stranded 3:08 Fri Oct 7
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
Meant to say. Cheers to the mod who did the honours, and went the extra mile to do both links!

Stranded 10:49 Fri Oct 7
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
CHICKEN RUN MANIAC 11:23

A good question. I like to believe that yes, dinosaurs would enjoy Premier League football at the London Stadium. Not just as an opportunity for the faster, more predatory meat eaters to chase the players around the pitch. But also for the enjoyment and spectacle of the sport itself.

Being blessed with, on average, a brain the size of a walnut, the tactics deployed under our previous manager may have been more easily grasped. But the downside, a dinosaur’s natural propensity to boredom combined with the innate ability to pluck upfield punts out of the air, may have proven problematic in the long run.

Also, with the variety of tunnels, walkways and wide-open spaces the London Stadium provides, and an almost limitless supply of fat pissed blokes to chase through them, there’s plenty to keep the little ones entertained, too.

claret on my shirt 12:26 Fri Oct 7
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
The amount of bullshit Brady comes up with daily

claret on my shirt 12:25 Fri Oct 7
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
The average distance off target Zaza's shots are.

CHICKEN RUN MANIAC 11:44 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
Good question. Still, the image of a sauropod decked out in our colours whilst dumping a massive load on the pitch is one that I will cherish for many years to come.

bruuuno 11:35 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
How would you work out where the west ham team starts and where the dinosaur shit ends?

CHICKEN RUN MANIAC 11:31 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
Wouldn't it be, like, awesome if the dinosaur turned up and people started hanging claret and blue scarves around its neck and then it, like, turned around and curled out a massive turd on the pitch.

bruuuno 11:27 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
DINOSAUR TRAINING METHODS

CHICKEN RUN MANIAC 11:23 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
Do you think the dinosaur would enjoy its first taste of English Premier League football?

Eddie B 5:12 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
In ten years time, when we finally buy the cunting ground, what's stopping us lowering the pitch by 20 feet and putting in more seats, thus getting us closer to the pitch?

the coming of gary 5:09 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
Jonathan Edwards triple jump world record... 18-29 metres

Bouncing Ludo 5:00 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
The Chicken Run

El Scorchio 4:49 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
The small intestinal tract of 3 human beings, stretched out straight and laid end to end.

This isn't going to be fun for very long.

ooooh Morley Morley 4:33 Thu Oct 6
Re: Thursday afternoon competition
20,000 custard pies.





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